Loneliness

Loneliness.

Crushing loneliness

as I wait for the text

that will never come.

Because I wanted

to be your number one.

Because I wanted

someone to support me.

This is why

I never ask for help.

When I most need someone,

no one answers my call.

I just want to know

you love me, you support me,

because I feel like

I am drowning,

going under.

I am a fool, a fool for you.

Don’t you see, don’t you know?

~9/17/2015~

Advertisements

Facing Fear

I receive writing prompts via email. One of these was to write a poem or short story where you confront a fear. This poem is a discussion between the narrator and her fear, doubt and loneliness.

I want to be loved by all,
I want to always feel loved.

That’s not really possible,
You just can’t please everyone.

I don’t need to please them all,
Just those that are important.

And who’s important to you?
Who are you trying to serve?

My friends and family,
My sweetheart, my beloved.

Who are your friends, and why them?
Why surround yourself with them?

They are those I can laugh with,
Those I have common ground with.

Is that all that makes a friend?
Does that make them trustworthy?

Time reveals one’s character.
Time reveals what can be shared.

You are naive to trust them,
Based on time and common fun.

Maybe, but I want to trust.
I want to believe the best.

You deserve to be alone,
If you think they won’t use you.

I try to be good enough,
To be loyal and caring.

They’ll take advantage of you,
Take everything you offer.

They can have everything left,
If they will stay here, with me.

You’re pathetic, you know that?
You’re so dependent on them.

People shouldn’t be alone.
I don’t want to be alone.

It’s not that simple, you know.
You will have to be alone.

Physically I’ve been alone,
That’s not when I have problems.

You cannot count on others
To fulfill your happiness.

I don’t expect that at all,
I don’t like being lonely.

You can’t depend on others
To fulfill your sense of self.
You need to be strong enough
To be yourself, regardless.

I can’t be anyone else,
I am always just myself.

You are not comfortable
With yourself, not strong enough.

I’m comfortable with me,
I’m strong enough to be me.

Then prove it. Prove it to me.
Prove it to yourself, right now.

I am strong enough, as me.
I will be okay alone.
My worth is not dependent
On anyone but myself.

~3/20/2015~