A Tree

The body of Christ

is as a tree planted,

drawing sustenance

from His omnipotence,

life from above, below, beside.

Its roots lost to day’s light,

anonymous to those above,

anchored in time, from dust,

and to the dust returned.

The trunk- the tree’s legacy.

It has withstood time’s test.

Branches sway thither,

tossed by tumultuous wind,

each finger stretched,

facing Jerusalem,

Judea, Samaria.

Touching Rome, Canterbury, home,

reaching out to the ends of the earth.

Leaves and fruit fill boughs,

drooping to the ground

under the weight of bounty,

eager to feed people’s souls.

I am but a bud,

not fully blossomed.

I, too, could bear fruit,

or be blown away

by the storms of life.

Fed by those before,

clinging to my roots,

I take my place

and open up.

A History Major’s Rant

This semester, as I engage with the texts of the past, I’ve been struggling on an emotional level with the material I’ve been reading for courses.

It is so hard to be so steeped in humanity’s failures, to see the death and dying, to see the fighting and the drinking and the drugs effect so many people’s lives. It’s hard to read about the destruction of the earth and other people so someone could make a quick buck. It’s hard to read about people dying brutal, bloody deaths, inflicted by other people. It’s hard to read about the injustices committed because of race, or gender, or people group. It’s hard to see the broken Imago Dei in the past, without looking away.

People come to my major because they think that History is an easy “A.” They think it’s about memorizing facts, names, dates. That’s not what it’s about, and I’m reminded of that every semester. It’s easy to lose sight of the people behind those names and dates, the ones who made this world we’re in now what it is.

Some days, I just want to find peace, love, joy. I long for a restoration from this broken reality. That’s the hope of Christ, and I can’t imagine doing my job without it. I don’t think I could do my job without it.

All of this is to say, it’s easy to say that hurtful thing. I know, I’ve done it repeatedly. But hurt people hurt people. In five words, that’s my summary of history. Guys, I’ve come to treasure those moments where people show kindness, no matter how small. It’s not the stuff that’s often remembered in history texts, and it seems like it’s far outweighed at the time. But it’s the stuff that makes us human. It’s the stuff that keeps us going. We can’t keep on like this. If we profess to be image bearers, then aren’t we called to reflect the goodness that God is? Even a little light can be bright in the darkness.

I Am Enough

You’re not good enough.

You can’t fulfill me.

You’ll never be enough.

So I do more

I try harder

I meet your goals

The bar is raised once more.

I believe your words.

I see what you see.

I will always fall short.

So I do more.

I try harder.

I meet my goals.

The bar is raised once more.

I’m growing weary.

I can’t keep this up.

Perfection is my goal.

So I do more.

I try harder.

Strive for my goals.

The bar cannot be raised.

I’m not good enough.

I can’t be fulfilled.

I’ll never be enough.

I can’t do more.

Can’t try harder.

Can’t meet my goals.

How did I get to this?

I was made enough.

You do fulfill me.

I am enough for you.

I don’t need more.

Don’t have to try.

No goals to meet.

Remind me who I am.

~6/15/2014~

Cleanliness

Miracle of miracles,

a renewal of the soul,

A rebirth from death to life.

I am full of death and dirt,

darkness, rot, the very worst,

despairing of cleanliness,

desirous of purity.

Will I never be cleansed?

I believe you can do it.

I believe you can wash me.

I so want you to perform

the greatest of miracles

in my broken, filthy heart.

~2-16-2014~

Heartbeats

Ba-dum, Ba-dum, Ba-dum

Feel the heartbeat inside

Ba-dum, Ba-dum, Ba-dum

Feel the life flow in me

Ba-dum, Ba-dum, Ba-dum

This heart has been broken

Ba-dum, Ba-dum, Ba-dum

This heart still beats inside

Ba-dum, Ba-dum, Ba-dum

I have been filled with life

Ba-dum, Ba-dum, Ba-dum

I have been taught to love

Ba-dum, Ba-dum, Ba-dum

My teacher is the Lord

Ba-dum, Ba-dum, Ba-dum

My heart is in the Lord.

~4-5-2013~