For years I have struggled to believe in a loving god of any kind. If God cared about us, why would he let there be so much pain in the world? It can’t be good to hurt as badly as I have. And I, of all people, should know exactly what hurt is.
You see, I was born with a genetic flaw. I have an excess gene, one that normal people don’t have. This gene has caused instability to my genetic makeup, giving me what you might call a “super power.” What is this power? I can take or give hurt simply by touching someone.
I’m like a sponge. If you touch my skin, I will absorb your hurts, any and all of the pain you feel. I take it away from you and you feel it no more. The worst part is that I can’t stop it, though I have tried.
The reverse is also true. When I am angry, or full of other emotions, it will all pour out of me, onto whoever I touch. I can hurt you deeply without a weapons. I can destroy you, crush you completely, without even trying to.
You probably can’t imagine what it feels like to carry all of this brokenness inside. That’s why I’m writing this for you. That, and if I don’t get these feelings out of me somehow, I’m going to go crazy in a bad way. This is my record, my last bond to sanity.